― Louis Nizer
One of the most destructive human pastimes is playing the blame game. It has been responsible for a considerable amount of human frustration and unhappiness. The blame game consists of blaming another person for an event or state of affairs thought to be undesirable. The truth is we don’t like to admit when we are wrong and when we are caught; we like to shift the blame to someone or something else. If we are stopped for speeding we immediately offer an excuse, such as “I was going with the flow of traffic” (blaming someone else) or “I didn’t see the sign noting the speed change” (blaming something else). We try to absolve ourselves of the responsibility of our actions.
Why do people blame others?
People start to blame everyone around them as soon as anything bad happens because of the following reasons:
Loss of control:
Some people panic when they lose control of a situation and so they try to restore the sense of being in control by blaming others!!
Some people try to control others by blaming them and making them feel that they are at fault.
Acquired from parents:
Some parents have failed to teach their children how to take responsibility for their actions and so they grew up as adults who blame others whenever something bad happens.
Refusing to take responsibility:
Some people can’t admit failures and mistakes so they blame others for them in order to escape from the responsibility. Unable to accept what happened: People blame others when they fail to accept something that happened.
How to deal with people who always blame others?
1) Talk to the person, ask them why they feel others are to blame in specific situations and consider their answer. Believe in your instinct and common sense and ask yourself if you are really to blame in a situation where you are being blamed.
2)Let them know how it made you feel, when they blamed you for something that you felt was not your fault or was out of your control, but don’t argue.
3) Sometimes the best course of action is to simply remove yourself from the situation and leave the affected parties to fight their own battles.
4) Forget blame and focus on where to go from here: Get used to saying out loud: “Okay, it happened! For the time being, we need to focus on making things better!”
Stop blaming everyone else for your problems
Stop blaming everyone else for your problems. Blaming other people for the reason why you don’t have something will give all your power away to the other person. Your life is your responsibility. And it’s only when you take full responsibility for your life is when you actually do something about it.
Regardless of how much you blame others, it will not change your life; but the less you blame others, the more you will exercise greater intuition and greater judgment about what’s really going on.
5 reasons why successful people never blame others:
1: When You Don’t Blame Others You Become Resilient.
To be resilient is to recognize that if you are dissatisfied with certain aspects of your life, then it is your responsibility to take the initiative and do something about it.
2: When You Don’t Blame Others You Become More Confident.
Lack of confidence in ourselves and our abilities is a major reason we blame others when something goes wrong.
3: When You Don’t Blame Others You Stop Making Excuses For Yourself
Stop blaming others for what you have or don’t have, or for what you feel or don’t feel. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility and aggravate the problem. Blaming is just another excuse, and making excuses is the first step towards failure; you and only you are responsible for your life choices and decisions.
4: When You Don’t Blame Others You Allow Space for Personal Growth
Instead of concentrating on what others did wrong, focus on what you can do now, and then do it.This will enable you to develop as a person and make progress.
5: When You Blame Others You Become the Victim
When you feel the victim, you try to gain power over the situation by blaming other people for it. Loss of control over one’s life is always associated with feelings of helplessness.
The history of all successful people indicates that they do make a lot of mistakes before they get it right and succeed. The successful people take the blame gracefully and begin to find a way for avoiding it next time.
When you blame others, you presume that your actions were right, it was the system, the environment, the government, the boss, or whosoever was wrong. It is they who need to change, not you.You give up your power to change; you create an environment of de-motivation around you by the negative energy of blaming. Success is in taking responsibility for the results as the first step for bringing in the desired results. Time spent in blaming is a total waste. You must accept responsibility for your actions and their consequences, rather than blaming others. The system is rarely responsible for your problems, and much happiness and success will come from accepting full responsibility for your current situation.
I can tell you this – to stop playing the blame game is to be free indeed. Whenever the chance comes your way to sign up for the blame game – answer with two words: ‘Not participating!’